French Toast

Frenched
Italian
Toast
(A Reincarnation of
Mom’s Breakfast)
Serves 4-8

Mom used to make French Toast, hurriedly, in the mornings before school for all of us. She would knock the eggs on the side of the first bowl that fell out of the cabinet, beat the hell out of them with a fork, throw in pieces of wonder-like white bread, sear them in butter in a cast iron skillet, and shove the browned-up shingles onto whichever Melmac plates came tumbling from the top of the stack of dishes in the cabinet. It was unceremoniously served with a spoon standing up in the dark ooze immovably secured in the can of Steen’s syrup. This is what she had to do to fortify her family. There were four of us and two didn’t want to go to school. So, the whole ‘get-up-get-dressed-eat-get-to-the-bus stop’ deal was a bit scattered and hectic. We all wore uniforms to the across-town Catholic school, which made the scramble even that much harder. My blue silk scarf that went under the collar of my white shirt was never pressed. Why bother? I chewed the ends of it mindlessly as I worked math problems at my desk, so it always had the look of something stringy, wet, and inanimate roped around my scrawny neck. But, even now, I can still smell the butter and syrup puddling sweetly on her French Toast, in this joyfully petite diversion before leaving the house to fend off the nuns. "Toast," Mom!

RECIPE
As many slices of Italian farm bread as you can eat without guilt
2 eggs, beaten down by life
1 dash of cream so small as to fool yourself into thinking that it will not live on your thighs forever
2 shakes of cinnamon, hopefully fresh, not lounging in a Lazy Susan for years
2 shakes of nutmeg, see above
1 teaspoon vanilla, then drink the rest of the bottle; wine is getting expensive
zest of ½ lemon or ¼ orange, whichever is least moldy in fridge ‘hydrator’
pinch of butter (again, the guilt theme) mixed with a little peanut oil
Real Maple syrup
Top with Greek yogurt (Fage Brand) and fresh blackberries, blueberries, or strawberries

Melt butter with peanut oil in a saucepan until sizzling. Wash bread in above pre-prepared frothy mixture. Lay in pan, careful not to be too snug with the pieces. Saute (the word ‘fry’ connotes calories) in oil until russet, sepia, or auburn, but not raw umber or burnt sienna. Serve with real, not imitation, maple syrup, which is really just colored/flavored corn syrup. Or, if you want a Louisiana Zydeco experience, use Steen’s Cane Syrup. Flavor will dance around your mouth and make you forget that you’ve eaten all the food for the day that your diet allows.